DEPTH

FOUR | DEPTH

At their best, Fours inspire and transform others with their creativity and capacity to empathize.  Empathetic and Intense, Fours want to distinguish themselves from others to avoid feeling ordinary.  

Their focus tends to go to what others have and they don't. When threatened, Fours tend to idealize other people and feel deficient. 

Their challenge is to balance sadness with the capacity for happiness and dissatisfaction, even if the relationship or the experience seems flawed or incomplete.  

We can support Fours by standing steady for them when their feelings are intense, show empathy, share our own feelings and let them know they are loveable separate from their identification with being special.  In conflict, Fours want to be recognized for bringing heart into the situation; be sure to let them know you appreciate their feelings and be patient while letting them express their deeper feelings.  

Strengths:                         Creative, sensitive, introspective

Challenges:                      Intensity, self referencing, moody

Speaking style:                Storytelling, often abstract, full of feeling and deeper meanings

Basic Proposition
The original ideal state of deep and complete connection to all things goes into the background in a world that Type Fours perceive abandons them, leaving something important missing. Type Fours come to believe that they can regain the lost ideal love or perfect state by finding the love or situation that is unique, special and fulfilling. Concurrently, they develop envy and longing over what they idealize but is unavailable. Their attention naturally goes to what is missing and deemed important. Introjection glues the structure together by helping them take inside the idealized other to lessen the pain of loss. Their ultimate concern or fear is being deficient and abandoned. As compensation Type Fours sometimes control and dominate by becoming disappointed in others, self-absorbed, unsatisfied with what is, moody, demanding to feel understood as special and unique, and repeatedly feeling unfulfilled. 

 Basic Propositions were written by Dr. David Daniels, M.D.