HOLDING
TWO | HOLDING
At their best, Twos are altruistic, unselfish and offer unconditional love for others. Supportive, Empathetic and warm-hearted, Twos want to be appreciated and express their feelings for others and avoid feeling needy themselves. Their focus tends to be on relationships. Twos are generous and self-sacrificing, putting other's needs before their own. When unappreciated, Twos can overreact emotionally.
Their challenge is learning to set boundaries and coming to terms that loving oneself is an inside job. We can support Twos by encouraging them to explore what it means to put themselves first and overcome meeting the needs of important others as a way to feel loved. In conflict, Twos want to be recognized; be sure to match their warmth and communicate your appreciation for their ability to attune to your needs.
Strengths: Caring, popular, communicator
Challenges: Privileged, naïve, dependent
Speaking Style: Being nice and sympathetic, giving advice, flattering.
Basic Proposition
The original state of freedom in which needs are met according to a universal will goes into the background in a world that Type Twos perceive is based on the phrase: “to get, you must give.” Type Twos, or “Givers,” come to believe that they can gain love and approval, and fulfill their personal needs, through their own giving to others. Concurrently, Givers develop a sense of being indispensable and a prideful energy of knowing what others need best. Their attention naturally goes to others’ needs and desires. Repression glues the structure together by helping them blank out their own needs and desires. Givers’ ultimate concern or fear is being utterly useless to others, or dispensable. As compensation, Type Twos sometimes attempt to control and dominate others by becoming prideful, needed (indispensable), dramatic, intrusive and even rejecting. Twos also tend to provoke guilt and create dependence from others.
Basic Propositions were written by Dr. David Daniels, M.D.